Feeling Invisible: The Effect of Having a Narcissistic Parent

Adult Child of Narcissistic Parent

Feeling invisible is a very painful and insecure place to be in relationships.

I work in the field of helping people recover from the damaging effects of having had one or more narcissistic parents. Unfortunately, most of us simply accept these issues as our own problems until the awareness arises that it has something to do with the way our parents unlovingly treated us.

Having a narcissistic parent(s) has many long-term effects, this is only one of them.

One of those damaging effects is feeling invisible. Feeling invisible is a horrible way to feel because it means you are also feeling forgettable. Also, feeling invisible to others causes you to feel very lonely. Because I had a covert narcissistic mother, I had the invisible feeling for many years & it can still pop up once in a while. My mother was very neglectful, emotionally unavailable and manipulative, she made me believe my feelings were invalid. I ultimately didn’t believe I was important & my feelings were gaslighted until I believed her feelings over my own. With this treatment, how can you then believe in yourself & your self worth?

Then some relief can come.

One of the steps in recovery from the eects of having narcissistic parents is to look at why you do the things you do. In the case of feeling invisible & being this way in relationships, it may be seem that you are making others more important than yourself.

This is what a child does (& often into adulthood) with the narcissistic parents.

Making others more important than you tells me you’re not taking good care of yourself. We often don’t know how to take good care of ourselves emotionally because of the trauma from our parents. I am always reminding my clients to focus on themselves. That doesn’t mean you simply make sure you exercise & eat right. What it means is taking your own feelings, thoughts and opinions into consideration first, before another person. You are not being selfish, you are improving your self esteem & building your confidence up again.

Kristen Fong LMFT

Kristen Fong, LMFT

I provide therapy for narcissistic abuse & couples online in-person in Marin County and online throughout California.

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